To Dad, I Miss You

For everything that was left unsaid.

Dear Dad,

I spent my whole life making decisions without asking you. Sometimes because I thought I knew better. Sometimes because I wanted to prove I didn't need anyone. I wish I knew then that all you ever wanted was to see me happy. ♡

You wanted me to become a doctor. I chose another path. Then another. And another. While you hoped for stability, I kept chasing something I couldn't even explain. You never stopped worrying about me. I never stopped arguing with you.

You wanted me to stay close to home. I packed my bags and built a life in another country. I thought there would always be another vacation. Another festival. Another cup of tea with you. Life quietly kept postponing those moments.

Then COVID brought me back. For the first time in years, we were under the same roof again. I thought life had given us another chance. Neither of us knew it was actually saying goodbye.

As soon as COVID scare ended, you were diagnosed with cancer. When cancer came, I stayed beside you for all the remaining days of your life. I was there. Yet somehow... I still spent those days correcting you, arguing with you, telling you what you should or shouldn't do. As if we still had forever.

I still remember the last evening... Before leaving the hospital, I helped you take one last sip of lemon water you had been asking for. You looked at me. I asked, "Are you okay?" You smiled and said, "I'm fine." Those were the last words I ever heard from you. ♡ And, I still hear you whisper those words in my ear every time I sit alone at night.

The next morning, you were gone. And suddenly every argument became too loud. Every "later" became too late. Every hug I never gave became something I carry every single day.

People say time heals. Maybe it teaches us how to live with the silence. But it never tells us what to do with the words we never said. Like... "I'm proud to be your son." "I love you, Dad." "Thank you."

I still catch myself reaching for my phone whenever something good happens. For one impossible second, I forget you're gone. And then I remember... that the person whose approval I spent my whole life running from, is the one whose voice I miss the most.

I miss you every day.

— Your son. ♡

A note from Arjun

We always think we have time.

Time to call them tomorrow.
Time to sit with them a little longer.
Time to say thank you.
Time to say I'm sorry.
Time to say I love you.

Until one day, there isn't.

Letters Never Sent is a series of small stories about words we carried in our hearts but, for one reason or another, never found the courage, the moment, or the time to say.

The first letter is from a son to his father.

A father he argued with.
Disagreed with.
Walked away from more times than he can remember.

A father he loved deeply…
but perhaps never told enough.

And then, one ordinary night at a hospital, he walked away believing there would be another morning.

There wasn't.

All that remained were memories, regrets, a last sip of lemon water…

and two words he would replay in his head for years:

“I'm fine.”

This is his letter.

A letter that was never written when it could have been read.

Maybe that's why some words shouldn't be saved for later. ❤️